I think my students have issues.

Rather than assigning the standard 10-page Freshman English research paper as a final project, I had my students work on group research projects this semester. This was/is great because:

• The students enjoy it a lot more than writing individual papers
  
• I haven't prepared a lesson in 5 weeks since my students have been working in class
  
• Fewer papers to grade during finals week (i.e., now)

Because I know that group projects often mean that one person does all the work and the other people still get A's, I created a "contract and evaluation" portion of the project wherein the group wrote a contract at the beginning of the project to divide up the workload, establish deadlines and expectations, etc. I also had each student e-mail me confidential evaluation at the end of the project (today) to let me know who worked and who didn't so that I can grade accordingly. I just asked for a paragraph, but one student took her evaluation to a new level. Three pages. Here's an excerpt, because I think you'll find it hilarious:

Amber is controlling. She bosses people around and interrupts constantly. She is a confused elitist, she believes she belongs to a group of superior beings when in fact she does not and exhibits a condescending attitude towards those whom she deems inferior, i.e. me. Her tendency to be controlling does aid the group in meeting deadlines. However, she could have been more approachable in the process.

Lisa seemed to be more interested in [fellow group member] Mike than getting work done in class. She always got her work done when we asked for it, but she did not work on the project in class. She is very intelligent but she is naive and that prohibits a mature train of thought.

Wow.

I'd like to note that Lisa is this student's friend and roommate; they come to class together and leave together every singly day. They gossip together. They giggle together. They do their homework together. They whisper and write notes back and forth while I'm talking.

The funny thing about this is that a good portion of this student's evaluation was spent panicking about the quality of the paper because her group members refused to set up meetings outside of class to put the project together. Amber, the supposedly controlling bitch (who I like very much and who is not the strongest writer but who works very hard to get A's on her papers by coming to my office, going to the writing center, etc), wrote exactly the same thing in her evaluation. If those two had spent less time hating each other and trying to control each other, they could have actually gotten their shit together and organized a meeting.

I haven't actually read this group's project yet, but I'm interested to see what came of it. Three of the four students in this group are among my best, so it's entirely possible that they'll pull a good project out of their asses despite the conflicts. Or maybe they really did do a shitty job. We'll see. I can't wait to see the glares they give each other during their presentation.

It's fun to be a teacher.

Now that I am up and running, I have a little dittie for Erica's Anxious Masculity Watch:

"Real Men" deny that their gender is responsible for rape.

I was sitting in a diner with two of my dude friends who, apparently looking for a fight avec moi, started discussing the woes of the poor helpless males out there who, because of rape shield laws, are at the mercy of the slut-whores who lie about rape and accuse innocent men. They were saddened that so much evidence can be excluded so as the whole debacle comes down to "he said/she said".

We went back and forth for quite a while, my volume increasing with every response (I may have made some patrons uncomfortable), and at the peak I finally blurted out, "well none of this would be a problem if men didn't rape!"

Crickets.

The conversation basically stopped. The problem isn't that women can falsely accuse men of rape. It isn't that women can be raped. The problem is that men rape in the first place...not only do they rape, but they rape a lot. All the problems that result only result because of that very fact.

I would really like there to be a study of how many men rape. Is there? There are tons of statistics about how many women "go and get themselves raped", but if dudes rape 1/3 of women, how many men do you think are raping? Surely it's not 1/5 of dudes who are raping 1/3 of the women...you think??? If that were even close to the right number, that's fucking scary. Even if it were 1/10 of men that are raping, that's still so high. I don't think all rapists out there are repeat offenders, and I'm sure there are men who've raped once or twice. It would be interesting to know, and also interesting for men to know how much of their gender is responsible for the physical act of raping. As I proof-read this I am becoming disturbingly aware of how uncomfortable this paragraph is. Because we never (as a society) consider this perspective. Of course we don't, because then it would become glaringly obvious to men that they are the problem in the rape equation.

It's amazing how, in light of my dude-friends' empathy and sadness for wrongly accused dudes of the world, that they are still both pro-death penalty. Fascinating how their concern for wrongly accusing dudes dissipates when you are no long discussing robbing a woman of her control over her body.

On Monday, I googled for our alma mater and called the number. I asked if Mr. Steve was there [but asked for his full name] and when I could contact him. The woman said I could try to call after 2:50 and gave me his email address when I asked. Mr. Steve's email is his full name at the abbreviation for our old school system, .org. So, firstname.lastname@[four letter abbreviation].org¹. I sent Mr. Steve this email

I don't know if you remember me, I'm Urs --- A----- from the class of 1999, one of the people that put together that quote site* with Sig-- J-------- (also of the class of 1999). I'm in Northern California right now, but I'm coming back to Rapids tonight for my grandmother's funeral. I am hoping to also use the time to touch base with you and see how you are doing. I'm also supposed to relay a message from Sig that she just finished her MFA at the [UAA].

I hope you'll be available for a chat sometime on Thursday (most likely). If not, I'm available at this email address and I can relay your email address to others. I hope you're doing well and I hope to see you soon.

Thanks,
Urs---

* http://www.funkychipmunk.net/Remakes/LHSQuotes/ is a remake of her site, but I hate it, so I'm working on this http://lhsteacherquotes.blogspot.com/

He replied on Tuesday that he was looking forward to seeing me, and I made mental plans to call the school on Thursday.

On Thursday morning, my dad helped me out by looking up the LHS Science Department phone number, and I actually got to talk to Mr. Steve - he said that the kids were in lab all day, so I could stop by any time before 2:50. If it was after 2:50, I'd have to come by the track².

Thursday was a busy day for me, and between that phone call and when I got to LHS, my dad made me eat steak, then my mom got a rental car, I washed my hair and changed clothes, then I learned that I needed car insurance in California, and ordered some on the phone from a broker in San Ramon, then my mom and I left for Rapids, then Minnesota, and I hugged and said farewell to my dad until next time.

It was about 1:50 or 2 or something, and raining. I knew I'd be there for 7th hour. Mom dropped me off at the front of the school, and I got out and took a picture of the entrance.

I walked in and was taken back in time 8 years, for a second, at least. A group of very young looking girls walked by, talking about something that was important to their lives, but that won't matter in a decade - just some event, club, or sport. I saw a few other people, and wondered what they thought of me. I wore my black skirt and nylons on purpose, instead of my jean skirt and black tights. I wanted to look as professional as possible, and I hope that did come out through my size and my red fleece men's jacket from Target. If it didn't, oh well.

I went into the old stairwell, with the same artwork on the walls, and went up. I walked around that corner that I'd been by a million times, and into that same old classroom. I recognized everything, but it seemed so small. I think I saw the same desks - did I really sit in the second row, or were there more desks back then? I saw young looking students in the seats, two children in the front of the class, and Mr. Steve. I waved and he recognized me, saying, "here is what a college graduate looks like." I came in and let him finish explaining the lab to the students, who I quickly realized were all male. The lab had something to do with light bulbs, and the students were expected to obtain small light bulbs from Simon. I had instantly realized that the two kids were that toddler and infant that often visited Mr. Steve back in 1999, but 8 whole years older.

When the students got up and began learning about electricity and light, I hugged Mr. Steve and told him that I wasn't just a college grad, but had a Master's, and gave him my business card. I first asked him about the huge gender imbalance, and learned that boys take physics and girls take biology. This class was his physics 3 class, and he'd been teaching them for 3 years and was doing his best to make sure they were decent human beings. I remembered what J.Mo said about young boys and sex, and saw that Mr. Steve's goal was enormous, but he did what he could, part of which was teaching them to clean up after themselves.

Mr. Steve said a few things about me to his students, and I'm sure a few more after I left. Lee Ironside once made a comment about my size after I made a remark about making my macaroni and cheese³, and Mr. Steve chastized him. I don't remember the comment, but I remember changing my opinion of Lee Ironside forever, and feeling good that Mr. Steve was on my side. So I was worried about what the boys saw, but I knew that Mr. Steve would set them right. Yes, I was what a college graduate looked like, and yes, I was one of the girls that took physics, and no, they had no right to make judgements about me based on my weight.

I asked if, aside from the gender thing, we looked like these current students. He said yes and made a comment about how aging seems to work - that we'll all be older some day and it is interesting to watch. I also asked if he saw any differences in students from my class and students now, and he said yes again. He explained that students now are even more concerned - obsessed, really - with the present. Parents now can check grades online at any time, and if he didn't get an assignment graded in time, parents would complain. One of the students in his other classes was going to get a tatoo of a giant crusifix, and a bible verse across his back. He tried to show the student that it was a mistake - that the student may not always feel that way, but the tatoo is for the rest of his life, but the student was sure that he would. We shook our heads.

We talked about a few other things - Mr. Steve gets his news from Jon Stewart too, and watches Adult Swim when he can. I talked a little about my career path and my current work. I also mentioned you, Sig, and he does know about your MFA. Students came up a lot and asked questions, they also asked them loudly from the back. He went to the lab area a couple of times to help. I asked if I could take a picture with a flash, because I didn't want it to mess up the lab results [the lights were off], and he went back and talked with the students again.

When he was working with students, I talked to Simon and Savannah. I told Simon about the time I worked at Copps and he was under the grocery cart, hiding from the aliens. He smiled, but didn't remember that, and I said, "yeah, you were only about 2 or 3." I also saw Savannah drawing on the white board - they have white boards, not chalk boards now - and told her about how she and Simon used to come to class when I was in school, 8 years ago, and she was just a baby, but her brother used to draw on the board, and would yell out, "Daddy! Look at what I drew!" and how her dad would turn back and say something like, "That's very nice Simon." She smiled. I can't believe that baby is actually an 8 year old now [8 or 9, I guess].

My mom called, eventually, and I knew that class was ending, so I had to take off. I hugged Mr. Steve again, he told me that he was proud of me, and I thanked him. When I left, I made some remarks about Savannah, and noticed she was slumping. I tried to straighten her up [which may have been annoying], but explained that my company really emphasizes proper ergonomics and that one of the company slogans was "do is safely or not at all" [because it really is], and left. I walked down to the other staircase because my mom was waiting at that end of the school. I realized that the "Beauty and the Beast" shirt I'd seen one of the students wearing was from the school musical that year, and took another picture.

I wanted to take a picture of the stairs too, but I never got a good angle. Not to mention that my mom had been waiting for 15 minutes, by now. I saw the hall where my old locker used to be, and saw that wall with different, but similarly boring and stupid posters. I think one was about smoking. Next time I go back, I want to visit more teachers, and I suggest we all make visits to LHS next time we're in town.

1 - I do that so the bots won't find his address from this site
2 - Would they be enjoying the lab from hell? And Mr. Steve is still supervising jocks.
3 - I think it was about boiling water, actually, but I decided to make my question more interesting by peppering it with a tidbit from my life

All of the pictures are available at the following links in their original size for use by members of the blog and anyone that asks and has a good reason to have them.

• Entrance
• Cafeteria
• Lab
• Hall

Whew. Liberating.

Thanks, Urs :)

Yesterday, I wanted to email a Mr. Steve quote to someone, so I went to look it up, and in the process, I realized that I really do not like the site I made for the teacher quotes.

Today, I've been working on this

Mr. Steve Quotes

The URL might change, and I'll alert people as soon as that happens, but for now, I want to make one post for each quote, with the exception of very similar quotes from the same day. I am tagging the quotes, and I want to be as general as possible - I think it adds to the amusement.

I'll be going back to Rapids this week, leaving Monday night and getting back to California on Thursday night. Loretta, my last remaining grandparent, died yesterday at 2:50pm and I'm going home for the funeral.

I'm thinking of also visiting Mr. Steve then.

Didn't really know where to post this so I thought I'd toss it up here!

So we use Firefox as our browser, and I don't remember if IE did this too - but you know how you type in the beginning of an address and it'll pop up with options? Well I started typing sig.blogspot and thought just sig would work and here's what 'sig' took me to: http://www.sigarms.com/Default.aspx

Just something dumb I stumbled upon.

Anyone miss highschool? My brother is going to his prom and making all his graduation plans and it's got me remembering the good, and not so good, times. Maybe I just miss having to hang out with all of you every day, I don't know.

Here's something for Erica's Anxious Masculinity Watch:

The other night Parker and I were talking, and somehow or another we were talking about some guys he lived with in the dorms when he was 18. They always ate in the cafeteria together, and the women in their dorms sat at their own table at the same time. Parker noticed that one of the guys at his table was always glancing over at the women's table, but he didn't really think anything of it. One day, the guy marched over to the women's table and pointed at each of them and started shouting, "You. You. You. You. Every single day you eat ice cream. Word of advice. LAY OFF THE ICE CREAM." To which they all stared at him in shock and said nothing.

Flashback to being 18 myself. Nathan used to spend lengthy amounts of time discussing how he and the guys HE sat with would watch (and obsess) over girls going up to the softserve machine, talking amongst themselves about it. "Don't do it! No!", etc.

I'd also like to note, that in both cases, upon questioning, neither one said that the young women were obese, not that that would make it appropriate in any way, just further proof that these men are complete contolling bastards.

It's pretty damn ridiculous that men such as Nathan and whoever this other guy was actually spend their time thinking they have a right to control what women fucking EAT. I'd say that's pretty damn crazy. I know how much fucking icecream Nathan used to consume, and it was A LOT. And I'm sure the same goes for the other men that think they can tell women NOT to eat it. Pretty pathetic.

Have any of you tried NuvaRing?

I used it between November, 2005 and September, 2006, and now I have a new perscription for it, to be started soon. I went to the gynecologist back on April 2, as some of you already know. The doctor showed me some of the other non-pill forms of contraceptive - the implant and the IUD - and told me about the shot.

1. I felt the model they had of the implant and imagined that I would not like it.
2. The IUD seemed like some kind of alien implant that wouldn't be comfortable. My contractor also told me about the time she had the IUD and took it out herself and apparently messed up her insides. I think that was, however, before she had her second kid, so it wasn't permanent, just painfull.
3. Finally, the shot would make me infertile for 3 years, and I want to be able to change my mind about my fetility a little more frequently than once every three years.

However, I don't like the pill because I'm not really good at taking a pill at the exact same time every day. I've been taking anti-depressants more or less every day for a decade now, and my sleep and work schedule is finally normalizing, but just yesterday, I forgot to take my anti-depressant until late in the day.

This was why I switched to NuvaRing in the first place, and it is a real shame that the manufacturer that has the patent seems to need to charge so much for it. See, NuvaRing is a plastic ring that contains the same birth control medication found in the pill [though we all know that there are several different pills out there]. You insert the ring into your vagina and the chemical is released into your body. You keep the ring in for 3 weeks, then remove it for a week while you have your period, then insert a new one for another 21 days.

Because the chemical is constantly being released throughout those three weeks, the dosage is lower, and because the chemical delivery method cuts out a LOT of human error, the medication is much more reliable than the pill form. I suspect that the ring method can work with chemical birth control medications other than the one found in NuvaRing specifically, but as with most inventions, the inventer wants to make money off of the invention. This keeps the price for NuvaRing high. When I had Wausau insurance, I paid one $10 co-pay for a 12 month supply [13 rings], but with Kaiser, I almost had to pay $140 for three months. I told Erica this story in more detail, but by returning to the doctor and refusing to pay so much for the medication, I got it for a far reduced price of $30 for that three month supply.

NuvaRing might not be perfect, but I really don't want any other bc method right now. It reduces my own human error but also gives me control of my reproductive functions. I don't have some weird object inserted in me that I cannot remove without the aid of a doctor. Sure, every now and then I get nervous about it falling out, but that has only happened once so far. Most of the time, I forget that I have it in.

Today, I set up the subdomain 17BottlesOf.funkychipmunk.net to host images right now, but potentially other kinds of files, or something. If you have images that you want to post, but don't know where to host, email them to me, I'll upload them, and email you the URL for the image.

I need to learn more about my web hosting, but I think, in the future, I can allow all of us to FTP directly to that part of my domain.

I'm so glad I can't carry a bottle of water onto the airplane.

Also: I smuggled pepper spray past TSA on my most recent flights when I forgot to take it off my key chain.